Updated: Jan 19
Being a Mother has always been hard.
And I’m not just talking about pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding, and not getting any sleep.
It takes a toll on not only your body, but your mind, and all the emotions you have left.
Being a mother is wonderful, so rewarding, and the example of pure love.
On the other hand, being a mother has its days.
Where all the energy you have left, you are giving it towards keeping your baby alive and healthy.
Working mother or SAHM, by the time you see your spouse at the end of the day, you have nothing left to give because you have given your entire self to your children.
Motherhood is a rollercoaster, a wonderful crazy rollercoaster.
But when I first became a mother, I wish someone had told me all the points I am going to tell you here in this article.
Your Baby’s Sleep
I remember hearing constantly, “don’t let them take naps on you” and “make sure every time they sleep, you put them in their crib”.
A baby wanting to sleep on their mother, is not a bad thing.
Stressing about their sleep habits is a bad thing.
A baby can tell when your stressed. That’s why when someone that is not comfortable holding babies holds your baby, they start crying.
All babes are different.
Some sleep wonderfully in their crib by themselves but some need to feel their presence of their mother.
Some babies just don’t like to sleep and its easier for everyone if they just sleep on or close
to their parent.
Worrying about my sons sleeping habits took over a lot, and it was stressful for him and me.
“Independent sleeping” does not matter when they are infants.
The first 2 years of a child’s life, they are undergoing many changes that make it difficult for them to sleep soundly.
You are not a bad mother if you let your infant sleep on you to make sure they get their naps in.
Their bad sleep habits, will not last forever.
One day they won’t want to cuddle with you to sleep, so hold your little babe tighter while they nap, without feeling guilt.
You are doing everything right, don’t stress.
"They are Manipulating You"
Let me say this loud and proud.
A baby under 6 months cannot be spoiled, it’s impossible.
They are not fake crying, they are not manipulating you, and they are not just “using you as a pacifier”.
They spent 9 months inside you, listening to your heartbeat.
It’s toxic for us to think that babies should be independent and not want to be close to their mom.
They just want to hear your heartbeat and voice again, the familiar calming sound.
They were dependent on you, a part of your body. It makes sense that they are depend on us now.
You are what calms their anxiety and their worries.
One saying I always seem to remember when my son needs me extra during the day, when things need to get done is “They will never be as little as they are today, ever again.”
So when your little babe is “being clingy”, just remember to kiss them a little harder and hold them a little longer. These days won’t last forever. But for now, they need you to be their home.
The House Can Wait
One very well known myth is that stay at home moms have a clean house.
“Oh it must be wonderful to stay home with your baby! You can get so much done during the day!“ or “It must be nice to not have to stay up all night after their asleep to get the house in order!”
I hate all these sayings.
You wanna know why?
Because it makes me feel like a horrible mother.
Because guess what?
98% of the time my house is a mess.
The beginning of my mother hood, I felt so overwhelmed.
The laundry was piled up tremendously, I had not vacuumed in weeks,
and the dishes were piled up.
I felt like a failure. Maybe I’m not cut out to be a homemaker.
You want to know a secret?
No mothers houses are spotless.
You are not failing.
Your babies need you today.
They don’t care that the laundry is a mile high.
One day you will look back, and you will remember the first time they smiled at you, the first time they rolled over, and the first time you watched them take their first steps.
You know what you won’t remember?
Those dishes that were piled up for 3 days.
Be present with your tiny babe today, because you can’t get those moments back.
Your child needs you more than those clothes need to be hung up.
Family and Friends Guilt
This is one thing that not many people talk about, but it should be expressed more.
Never feel guilty about anything you decide for your family.
After birth everything is still traumatic, everything is difficult.
If you don’t want family or friends to come over the first few weeks, and you need to take time for yourself, do it.
If you don’t want your parents kissing your baby, don’t feel bad.
If you don’t want to go over to your friends houses during flu season, don’t.
If you don’t want to take your new baby to stores or restaurants before they get their first shots, you don’t have to explain yourself.
Whatever you think is best for you and your baby, is the best.
The people that truly love and care about you and your baby, will understand.
And the sad truth is that the people that don’t want to understand your rules, will never respect you as a parent.