Updated: Jan 19, 2022
Everyone has been there once in our life.
You post something knowing everything you’re doing is correct..and that mom that seems like she has it all together…always finds a way to comment something negative.
These negative nancies are inevitable everywhere.
Why? How does one always find us everywhere? Anything we post?
Sometimes there is even one while just trying to do your grocery shopping!
Whether it’s social media or your out running errands, if you find yourself in a situation with a confrontational negative nancy mom or no mom.. this post is here to help you heal.
There will always be someone in every situation waiting and watching for you to do something wrong, just so they can put you down.
For example, I posted a plain picture of my baby boy with his daddy on our family boat, where he was about 3 months old.
He was laughing and smiling, just like he always is when he is with his daddy.
Next thing I knew a Negative Nancy Mom had found me.
I didn't understand? Why are you coming after me? What did I ever do to you?
See this mom was trying to make me feel like a bad mother for not having him in his life jacket.
But what this woman did not understand is that he had his life jacket, on the floor of the boat right next to him. Where I had just taken him out his life jacket, while the boat was stopped to give him a break from it. Being that it was 80 degrees, I didn't want him to get hot while the boat was at rest with no wind on him. We also had plenty of supplies to keep him cool, even a powered fan.
This in return had me questioning myself as a mother.
I remember later that evening crying to myself while taking a shower… Thinking “would my baby boy be better off with someone else?”
That thought was quick to leave when I remembered..No of course not, no one would ever love him as much as I do, and protect him as much as I would.
My nephews and baby cousins had been on a lake boat ever since they were his age. They grow up as lake babies, and now they LOVE the water.
That's when I realized:
They were never scared of the water.
How could this Negative Nancy get to me this much? Your guess is as good as mine.
What I learned though is that I wasn't alone. Many other moms had been put in this corner of doubt and defeat as well.
You see, like so many of us, we look on the social media account of this person. We see the perfectly framed and edited pictures, every child so happy. And we think: “Oh they must know something, they are doing everything so much better than me.”
This is just a photo. A measly one second of their entire day.
What you don't see from their day, is where that mom locked herself in the bathroom for 10 minutes to breathe, because her children wouldn't stop screaming just because she gave them the wrong juice.
That mom is not perfect.
And No, she doesn't have it all together as it appears.
I was shocked when I learned later, one mom said that it seemed like I “was a perfect mom that had it all figured out”. Because this was by no means true.
We all get in this groove of pleasing social media. When in fact, the only thing that should matter is pleasing ourselves and our babies.
Who cares what anyone else thinks as long as our babies are happy and healthy?
I know. Easier said than done right?
The idea that moms should be robots, happy all the time, perfect even, is genuinely toxic.
This unrealistic notion is in return letting our kids believe that it's not okay to be human, make mistakes, get upset, or take a moment to breathe.
It is okay to let your kids know you've made a mistake or are having a tough day.
It is okay to ask your kids at the end of the day, what you can improve on as a parent.
Show them that yes it is okay to fail, but it’s what we do after we fail that matters.
We are human, we make mistakes.
So next time that Negative Nancy tries to come for you...remember:
Is your child happy? Is your child safe?
Then what you are doing is okay. Take a breath. And show your babes that it's okay to be REAL.